Tuesday, April 7, 2009

I want what she's having

Do any of you sometimes look at other women and think “I want what she is having”. And how often are we told.. you can’t have it all and often it is by other women!

I grew up in an Indian household and my mother was determined to ensure that I learnt how to cook and clean otherwise I would not find a suitable boy to marry.

I often tell a story of how when I used to visit my paternal grandparents the men ate first, I often had to ‘fan’ them as they ate as it was hot in Fiji and then the women ate what was left over.

Women congregated in the kitchen and the men in the lounge room.

Women certainly were not encouraged to have careers and often got married soon after the age of 16.

I question the tag line “having it all” because for me it is about living the life that I want to have.

When I left Fiji I had in my mind the life I wanted to have; it was never about having it all and Australia offered me opportunities to create and build that life.

Today women are more educated than ever before, we make 90% of the buying decisions, we are smart, focused on either having a career or running a household, we make great negotiators... talk to women who have children, husbands or boyfriends (that would mean all of us) – when was the last time we really lost an argument.
We want the same things that men want – financial security, family, careers and success.

The only thing that stops us from having the life we want is us. We take on the guilt, we sacrifice, we don’t put ourselves first and somewhere we lose the ability to be selfish from time to time.

Everyone is different and we are all achievers; some of us prefer to be CEO’s of our home while others of businesses. At the end of the day we are all working towards the same goal which is providing for our families and achieving our goals in life. And for each one of us that is different.

I just know that I want to have a life that when it is over I can go to wherever it is that people like me end up (there will be a party when I show up) knowing that I had done everything I wanted.

But more importantly; knowing that I left the planet a better place; and that my actions had created real change.

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